Why your husband should be your best friend too

I am a firm believer that your husband should also be your best friend.

A best friend is who you share secrets with. You call them when something exciting/scary happens, and you go to them when you need advice.

Why can't our spouses be just like our friends?

I can tell my husband anything. And I tell him everything. He is my biggest supporter, but also my most honest feedback. If something great (or even terrible) happens, it's not real until I tell him. Activities are automatically more fun when he's involved, and he is the biggest stress-reliever. That's not to say occasionally he isn't the cause of stress, but when I need things put into perspective, my husband is there.

So many qualities that my husband possesses, can also be found in a best friend (if it isn't a prerequisite).

And realizing that, got me to thinking about this; how do we choose our best friends?

Well, similar interests, sense of humor, goals...all those things fall into what makes a Best Friend-category. Someone who will support and encourage you, falls into that as well. But, they must also be willing to be completely honest, even if it means saving you from yourself.

So, if your husband, (or fiance, or even boyfriend) isn't doing any of these things, shouldn't they be?

A best friend wouldn't discourage your goals and dreams. They wouldn't tell you things like, "That's stupid," unless it actually is a stupid idea. Like building a giant shoe rack that emcompasses the entire closet, knowing good and well that you are the type of person who will not use it and become frustrated when you have to sort 20+ pairs of shoes from the closet floor. This is what I mean by saving you from yourself. (Yes, this happened)

A best friend wouldn't tell you not to eat those tacos, "Because you'll gain weight". They eat tacos with you.  They don't demand that you not wear makeup, or dress a certain way, or need to know your every move. Best friends don't suffocate your personal space or try to control you.

Sadly, so many women I know have partners that don't do what their best friends would. What's the point of a relationship like that?

My challenge for women everywhere is to replace any statement, or thought, about a subject that their husband or boyfriend might not approve of, and replace "Husband/Boyfriend" with "Best Friend." If it sounds less than desirable, then maybe it's time to reevaluate things.

Don't think I'm secretly planning on breaking people up over this, but honestly; if you found yourself thinking, "Wow, my best friend would never say I'm not allowed to talk to my Mom!" and realized you were talking about your husband...and you find yourself uncomfortable...it might be a red flag. Just saying.

You should never feel afraid to tell your partner anything. Or fear they might be unsupportive. Or angry. Or jealous.

A husband needs to be the same as a best friend-to help you pick yourself up after a fall, to laugh with, to dream. If you can't spend the rest of your life with your best friend..who can you spend it with?