First Mother's Day

This is my first acutal mother's day since our son was born.

It's hard to believe, even almost a year later, that we even created such a perfect little human being. Feels like we just brought him home...hell, it feels like I just found out I was pregnant!

But we did it-we made a perfectly healthy, happy, cute as hell Baby Boy.

Motherhood may have changed me in some ways, but I still feel like the same person I always have been. This is just an extension of me-an add on. An upgrade.

I really didn't even realize that Mother's Day applied to me until my husband mentioned it. So, I get a real holiday dedicated to my role as a parent?(In a manner of speaking)

I don't really want anything. Yes, I say this after my doting husband showered me with an early present of a new laptop (Because you can't blog on your phone!), and my own Mother bought me a very nice book about the role...I'm happy just to see my son's smiling face every day. I'm happy to raise a child to call my own. I'm happy enough to be one of the lucky ones; who's child made it through conception and pregnancy and birth - and will be a year old in less than two months.

Being selfless comes with being a mom too. It's the natural instinct to put yourself second, fourth, or even not at all-taking care of everything and everyone first. I'll be too caught up in other things to enjoy the day-but that doesn't mean all the other mom's can't enjoy theirs.

Ryan has been telling Bruce for a while, especially when he's fussy, that he needs to be "Nice to Mommy." I'm thinking, 'Honey, he's an infant, it's not like he's going to roll over and think, 'Oh my bad! I won't pull your hair anymore!" And that on Mother's Day, she needs a break.

I don't want a break-sleep would be nice, but probably not going to happen. I'm ok with that. I still feel like my baby is too new, and I still need to be selfless 24/7, 365. I'll have plenty of time when baby is older to get those extra lie-in's, breakfasts in bed, shopping excursions and pedicures.

So for the other Mom's out there that are enjoying their holiday with pampering, or even just extra sleep-I hope you do enjoy it. You really deserve it! All Mom's do, because being a parent is hard. Very, very hard. But so rewarding.

And enjoy it for those of us new mom's, so caught up in still realize just what they've created, to admit they are tired, drained, and just need a break every once in a while. I might be tired and drained as well-but I wouldn't trade the hardship for anything if it means not seeing that smile every day.